Be a positive parent today!

Are you struggling to get your kids to listen to you without having to yell or nag or lose control? Well you may not be the only one grappling with this issue. All parents at some point or have had to face tantrums, melt downs and power struggles with their children. The good news is that these issues can be addressed and they need not be stressful and they are far easier to handle than you think.

Positive parenting is an approach focused on developing a strong, deeply committed relationship between parent and child based on communication and mutual respect. Here we teach a child just not what he/ she should be doing but also why he/she must do that.  The aim here is to discipline a child without breaking the spirit of the child. It involves training a child to learn self-control and giving them the tools they need to become thoughtful people.

So how can you practice positive parenting?

1. Think of your children as individuals and not as personal property. Acknowledge that they have the ability to think and are capable of processing situations and making some judgement on their own.  A child is wired to ask questions and as parents it is our responsibility to help them find the answers. Avoid saying you have to do it because I told you so. Instead try to answer the where, why, what and how of a situation as truthfully as you can. Tell them what they can do instead of focusing on what they should not do. Tell them they should sit in a chair. If they stand they will fall down and get hurt. Avoid saying – ‘don’t stand on the chair’.
2. Set boundaries and make sure your child understands them. A child is predisposed to testing the boundaries set by their parents. So it important for them to know the consequences of crossing the line. Psychologists say that ‘Children should be able to predict with absolute certainty, what will happen as a result of their behavior, 100% of the time’  one of the ways of giving children this sense of certainty is stating the rules out loud, and getting everyone in the house to agree on the rule. Rules can be reviewed periodically but at all times the child must be aware of the consequences of breaking a rule. And apply the consequences when needed, children needs to experience the consequences of their actions.
3. Be sure to let your child know that you value and accept them. And that they will be loved and cared for no matter what they do. Be supportive of your child when you are correcting their mistakes. Encourage them to explore and find out what they are good at. Being engaged in something they like to do and something they can be good at will give them a sense of confidence in themselves. Focus on building your relationship by devoting time for your child. Go for walks or do an activity together. Remember, when children don’t get the attention they need that is when they tend to act out. Setting aside just 10- 15 minutes a day can be start.

Positive parenting is all about creating a safe, loving, nurturing environment for children to grow into well-adjusted adults. It is giving your children the tools to learn self-discipline and help them overcome obstacles in their lives in a positive way. It is showing them that you understand how they feel and that you respect them.